top of page
  • Writer's pictureEvolve Therapy

The Effects of Attachment Style on Your Mental Health

The effects of attachment on mental health have been a topic of significant interest and research in psychology. Attachment refers to the emotional bond that individuals form with their primary caregivers during childhood, and it plays a crucial role in shaping their mental and emotional well-being throughout their lives

cutout of a head with flowers coming out of the top on a green background

Numerous studies have highlighted the links between attachment style and mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety.

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby, suggests that the quality of the attachment relationship established in early childhood profoundly impacts an individual's ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, regulate emotions, and cope with stress.

One of the key findings in this area of research is that individuals with insecure attachment styles are more likely to experience mental health problems. The two most common insecure attachment styles are known as anxious and avoidant, and they each manifest differently.

Anxious attachment is characterized by a fear of abandonment and a constant need for reassurance. In contrast, avoidant attachment involves a reluctance to form close emotional bonds and a tendency to withdraw from intimacy.

Individuals with anxious attachment styles often struggle with excessive worry, low self-esteem, and a heightened sensitivity to rejection. This can lead to anxiety disorders, such as generalized or social anxiety disorders.

On the other hand, individuals with avoidant attachment styles may experience difficulties expressing emotions, forming close relationships, and seeking support during distress. This can contribute to the development of depression and other mood disorders.

Childhood attachment experiences also play a crucial role in developing coping mechanisms. Children with secure attachments with their caregivers learn to trust others, regulate their emotions, and develop effective coping strategies. Securely attached individuals are more likely to seek social support, engage in problem-solving, and adapt to stressful situations healthily.

In contrast, individuals with insecure attachment styles may develop maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as avoidance, self-isolation, or reliance on unhealthy coping strategies like substance abuse.

These maladaptive coping mechanisms can further exacerbate mental health issues and hinder an individual's ability to manage stress and emotional challenges effectively.

Understanding the links between attachment insecurity and mental health is crucial for developing effective interventions and treatment approaches. Therapeutic interventions that improve attachment security can help individuals develop healthier patterns of relating to others and managing their emotions.

series of faces depicting different emotions

This can involve working with individuals to explore their attachment history, identify maladaptive patterns, and develop more secure attachment styles.

The effects of attachment on mental health are significant and far-reaching. The quality of the attachment relationship established in childhood influences an individual's ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, regulate emotions, and cope with stress.

Understanding the links between attachment style and mental health is essential for developing effective interventions and treatment strategies to promote mental well-being.

How early childhood attachment patterns shape emotion regulation and coping skills

Early childhood attachment patterns are crucial in shaping an individual's emotion regulation and coping skills. The quality of the attachment bond formed with primary caregivers (also known as attachment figures") during early years influences how children learn to manage and express their emotions effectively.

Secure attachment fosters a sense of safety and trust, enabling children to develop healthy coping mechanisms and regulate their emotions in a balanced manner.

In contrast, insecure attachment can lead to difficulties in emotion regulation and coping, as children may struggle with self-soothing and seeking support from others.

If you struggle to regulate negative emotion, understanding your own attachment style and its impacts can help you understand why you process emotions the way you do, and how you might work toward healthier ways of managing your feelings.

Anxious Attachment and Mental Health Difficulties

Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, explores the importance of early relationships in shaping an individual's emotional and social development.

Anxious attachment, one of the attachment styles, is characterized by a fear of abandonment, a constant need for reassurance, and difficulty trusting others.

Anxious attachment stems from inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving during early childhood. When separated from their primary caregivers, children with anxious attachment often experience heightened anxiety, fear, and insecurity.

This attachment style persists into adulthood, influencing how individuals form and maintain relationships.

Impacts on Mental Health Difficulties:

black and blue crumpled paper forming a sad-looking face looking down
  • Anxiety Disorders: Anxious attachment is closely associated with developing anxiety disorders. The constant fear of abandonment and rejection can lead to excessive worrying, panic attacks, and generalized anxiety disorder. These individuals may also struggle with social anxiety, making it challenging for them to trust and connect with others.

  • Depression: The fear of abandonment and the need for constant reassurance can contribute to low self-worth and self-esteem. Individuals with an anxious attachments may experience episodes of depression characterized by persistent sadness, loss of interest, and difficulty maintaining daily functioning.

  • Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Anxious attachment is strongly linked to BPD, a complex mental health disorder characterized by unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, and intense emotional fluctuations. Individuals with BPD often exhibit a deep fear of abandonment, leading to desperate attempts to avoid it.

  • Co-dependency: Anxious attachment can manifest in co-dependent relationships, where individuals excessively rely on their partners for validation and emotional support. This dependency often results in an unhealthy and imbalanced dynamic, leading to mental health difficulties such as low self-esteem and a lack of personal identity.

  • Difficulty in Trusting Others: Anxious attachment can make it challenging for individuals to trust others, leading to problems forming and maintaining healthy relationships. This can further exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness, contributing to mental health problems like social anxiety and depression.

Addressing Anxious Attachment and Mental Health Difficulties:

  • Therapy: Seeking professional help, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or attachment-based therapy, can be beneficial in addressing anxious attachment and its associated mental health challenges. Therapy provides a safe space to explore attachment patterns, develop coping mechanisms, and improve self-esteem.

  • Mindfulness and Self-Care: Practicing mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help individuals with anxious attachment manage their anxiety and regulate their emotions. Self-care activities, such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and maintaining a support network, can also contribute to overall mental well-being.

  • Building Secure Attachments: Developing secure attachments in adulthood is possible through conscious efforts. Engaging in healthy and open communication, setting boundaries, and working on building trust can help individuals with anxious attachments form secure relationships.

Understanding anxious attachment and its impact on mental health difficulties is crucial for effective intervention and support. By seeking therapy, practicing self-care, and building secure attachments, individuals with anxious attachments can work towards improving their mental well-being and overall quality of life.

Remembering that healing and growth are possible with the right support and self-awareness is essential.

Anxiety, dependence, and low self-worth in anxious attachment

Anxiety, dependence, and low self-worth are common characteristics associated with individuals who exhibit an anxious attachment style.

One of the critical features of anxious attachment is anxiety. Individuals with this attachment style experience high levels of anxiety in their relationships, constantly worrying about their partner's feelings and intentions.

This anxiety can manifest as excessive questioning, seeking reassurance, and overanalyzing their partner's actions. The fear of rejection or abandonment drives this anxiety, leading to a constant need for validation and approval.

Dependence is another significant characteristic of anxious attachment. Individuals with this attachment style often rely heavily on their partners for emotional part and validation.

They may struggle with being alone or making decisions independently, fearing their partner's absence will result in rejection or abandonment. This dependence can lead to a loss of personal identity and a lack of self-confidence.

Low self-worth is a common consequence of anxious attachment. Due to their fear of rejection, individuals with this attachment style often struggle with inadequacy and self-doubt. They may constantly seek external validation to feel worthy and lovable.

This lack of self-worth can negatively impact their self-esteem and overall mental well-being, leading to a cycle of seeking validation and feeling unworthy.

Understanding the impact of anxiety, dependence, and low self-worth in anxious attachment is crucial for individuals experiencing this attachment style and those in relationships with them.

Developing effective strategies to manage these characteristics can help improve mental well-being and foster healthier relationships.

One way to address anxiety in anxious attachment is through therapy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Individuals can reduce anxiety levels and improve their overall well-being by learning to recognize and manage anxious thoughts.

Building independence is another important aspect of addressing dependence in anxious attachment. Encouraging individuals to engage in activities and hobbies outside of their relationships can help them develop a sense of self and build confidence.

Setting boundaries and practicing self-care is also essential in fostering independence and reducing dependence on others for validation.

Working on self-worth is fundamental in overcoming low self-esteem associated with anxious attachment. Therapy can help individuals explore their self-worth and develop self-compassion.

Building a support network of friends and loved ones who provide unconditional positive regard can also improve self-esteem.

Anxiety, dependence, and low self-worth are common characteristics of individuals exhibiting an anxious attachment style. These characteristics can significantly impact mental well-being and relationships.

However, with awareness and practical strategies, individuals can learn to manage anxiety, build independence, and improve self-worth. Seeking therapy and building a support network are crucial steps toward healthier relationships and improved overall well-being.

Avoidant Attachment and Mental Health Difficulties

Avoidant attachment can also profoundly impact mental health. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style struggle with forming and maintaining close relationships, which can lead to various mental health difficulties.

Avoidant attachment is characterized by a fear of intimacy and a tendency to avoid emotional closeness with others. This attachment style typically develops in response to harsh or neglectful caregiving during infancy and childhood.

As a result, avoidant individuals often learn to suppress their emotions and become self-reliant, as they perceive emotional vulnerability as a threat.

One of the most significant mental health difficulties associated with avoidant attachment is a heightened risk of developing anxiety disorders. The fear of intimacy and emotional closeness can lead to excessive worry and apprehension, as individuals with avoidant attachments may constantly fear rejection or abandonment.

the word "anxiety" spelled out in wooden blocks

This anxiety can manifest in various ways, such as generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, or panic disorder.

Avoidant individuals also commonly struggle with higher levels of depression. The difficulty in forming and maintaining close relationships can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and a lack of social support.

These factors can contribute to depressive symptoms, as individuals with an avoidant attachment may struggle to find meaning and fulfillment in their interpersonal relationships.

Furthermore, avoidant attachment can also impact self-esteem and self-worth. Individuals with this attachment style may have an internalized belief that they are unworthy of love and affection, leading to low self-esteem and a negative self-image. This negative self-perception can exacerbate depression and other mental health issues.

Addressing avoidant attachment and its associated mental health difficulties requires a comprehensive approach focusing on individual and relational factors. Therapy, particularly attachment-based therapy, can be highly beneficial in helping individuals with avoidant attachment develop healthier patterns of relating to others.

Through therapy, individuals can explore their early attachment experiences, understand how these experiences have shaped their current attachment style, and work towards developing more secure and fulfilling relationships.

Building a supportive social network is also crucial for avoidant individuals. Engaging in activities and joining groups that align with their interests can provide opportunities for social interaction and developing meaningful connections.

Supportive friendships and relationships can help avoidant individuals challenge their negative beliefs about themselves and experience the benefits of emotional closeness and intimacy.

Practicing self-compassion and self-care is also essential for avoidant individuals. Learning to validate their emotions and needs and engaging in activities promoting self-care and self-acceptance can improve mental well-being.

Developing a positive and nurturing relationship with oneself can serve as a foundation for healthier relationships with others. Avoidant attachment can significantly impact mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. However, with the proper support and interventions, individuals with avoidant attachment can develop healthier patterns of relating to others and experience improved mental well-being.

By seeking therapy, building supportive relationships, and practicing self-compassion, individuals can overcome the challenges associated with avoidant attachment and cultivate more fulfilling and satisfying lives.

Suppression of emotion, intimacy struggles in avoidant attachment

Because avoidant attachment is characterized by a fear of intimacy and a tendency to suppress emotions, this attachment style can lead to difficulties in building intimate relationships.

Individuals with avoidant attachment often struggle with forming deep connections and may avoid or distance themselves from emotional closeness.

One of the critical characteristics of avoidant attachment is the tendency to suppress emotions. This suppression can manifest in various ways, such as avoiding discussing feelings, downplaying the significance of emotions, or even wholly disconnecting from one's emotional experiences.

This emotional suppression is often a defense mechanism developed in response to early experiences of rejection or neglect. Individuals with avoidant attachment learn to protect themselves by avoiding vulnerability and emotional pain.

However, the suppression of emotion can have detrimental effects on relationships. When emotions are consistently suppressed, expressing and sharing feelings with others becomes challenging.

This lack of emotional openness can create distance and hinder the development of intimacy. The inability to effectively communicate emotions may lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, further straining relationships. Intimacy struggles are another common challenge faced by avoidant individuals. The fear of intimacy often stems from a fear of being hurt or rejected.

As a result, avoidant individuals may avoid or sabotage relationships that become too close or emotionally demanding. They may struggle with trusting others and may find it difficult to let their guard down, preventing them from experiencing deep connections and emotional closeness. This can make it especially difficult to build a romantic relationship.

Overcoming these challenges requires a conscious effort to develop healthier attachment patterns. Here are some strategies that can help individuals with avoidant attachment work towards building more fulfilling and intimate relationships:

  • Self-awareness: Recognizing and acknowledging one's attachment style is the first step towards change. Understanding the underlying reasons for emotional suppression and intimacy struggles can help individuals develop insight into their behaviors and motivations.

  • Therapy: Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can provide a safe space to explore and address attachment-related issues. A therapist can guide individuals in developing healthier coping mechanisms and support navigating relationships.

  • Communication skills: Effective communication skills are crucial for avoidant individuals. This includes learning to express emotions, actively listening to others, and practicing empathy. Building these skills can help foster better understanding and connection with others.

  • Gradual exposure: Exposing oneself to vulnerable situations can help desensitize the fear of intimacy. This can involve taking small steps towards opening up emotionally, sharing feelings with trusted individuals, and gradually increasing emotional intimacy in relationships.

  • Self-compassion: Practicing self-compassion is essential for avoidant individuals. Being kind and understanding towards oneself, acknowledging past experiences, and allowing for personal growth can help build resilience and foster healthier attachment patterns.

Suppressing emotion and intimacy struggles in avoidant attachment can significantly impact relationships.

However, with self-awareness, therapy, practical communication skills, gradual exposure, and self-compassion, individuals with avoidant attachments can work towards developing more fulfilling and intimate connections with friends, family, and romantic partners.

It is important to remember that change takes time and effort, but with the proper support and strategies, individuals can overcome these challenges and create healthier attachment patterns.

Treatment Options

Attachment security plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being and the quality of our relationships. When individuals or couples struggle with attachment issues, seeking appropriate treatment options can significantly improve their overall security, the quality of their relationships, and their mental health.

Individual Counseling Approaches:

  • Psychotherapy: Individual psychotherapy provides a safe and supportive environment for clients to explore attachment-related issues. Therapists use techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, or attachment-based therapy to help individuals better understand their attachment patterns and work towards secure attachment.

  • Mindfulness-Based Interventions: Mindfulness practices can help individuals become more aware of their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors related to attachment. Techniques like meditation, breathing exercises, and body scans promote self-reflection and self-compassion, fostering a secure passion within oneself.

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) focuses on identifying and processing emotions that hinder secure attachment. Through guided conversations, individuals can explore their emotional needs, express vulnerability, and develop healthier ways of connecting with others.

Couples Counseling Approaches:

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT): EFCT aims to improve couples' sense of attachment security by fostering emotional responsiveness and accessibility within the couple's relationship. Therapists help couples identify negative interactional patterns, enhance emotional communication, and create a secure bond through increased empathy and understanding.

Imago Relationship Therapy: Imago therapy helps couples understand their unconscious patterns of attraction and conflict. By exploring past experiences and childhood wounds, partners can better understand their attachment needs and learn practical communication skills to meet those needs.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Based on extensive research, this approach focuses on enhancing the quality of interactions between partners. Couples learn to manage conflict, build trust, and create shared meaning, promoting a strong romantic relationship with a secure attachment bond.

Developing Healthier Coping Strategies:

  • Self-Care Practices: Engaging in activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies, can help individuals regulate their emotions and reduce stress, thereby improving attachment security.

  • Building Supportive Relationships: Developing and nurturing healthy relationships with friends, family, or support groups can provide individuals with a secure base and emotional support, enhancing their attachment security.

  • Enhancing Emotional Regulation: Learning effective strategies to manage and express emotions, such as journaling, deep breathing, or seeking professional help, can help individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve attachment security.

Improving attachment security is a vital aspect of overall well-being and healthy relationships. Individual and couples counseling approaches and developing more beneficial coping strategies can help individuals and couples cultivate secure attachments.

Individuals can enhance their emotional well-being and foster more fulfilling relationships by seeking appropriate treatment options and investing in personal growth.


In conclusion, attachment style has been shown to impact mental health profoundly. If you are struggling in your mental health and relationships, and you think that attachment insecurity could be playing a role, counseling can help.

Therapy can provide individuals with a safe and supportive environment to examine their attachment patterns, understand the underlying causes of their mental health challenges, and develop healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

Working with a trained therapist, individuals can learn to identify and address insecure attachment patterns, heal past wounds, and cultivate more secure and fulfilling relationships. At Evolve Therapy, we specialize in attachment issues, and we're ready to support you. Reach out today to get connected with a therapist on our team.

662 views0 comments


bottom of page