EVOLVE SERVICES

RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING

We specialize in working with all types of relationships: married, living together, dating or engaged. We also have deep experience working with people representing a wide range of ethnicities, religions, cultures, nationalities and LGBTQ individuals and couples.  

 

 Why seek relationship counseling?  

You may be seeking relationship counseling for any of the following reasons:

  • Negative impacts to relationship – finances, job loss

  • Cheating, affairs, and infidelity

  • Sex addiction, porn addiction, cybersex addiction

  • Sexual issues and problems 

  • Sexual identity, sexual orientation 

  • Grief and loss impacts on relationship

  • Insecurity and lack of self-esteem

  • Balancing commitments and family activities

  • Extended family issues

  • Equity in household chores, responsibilities, roles

  • Communication issues

  • Respect issues

  • Acceptance

  • Conflict resolution

  • Relationship crisis

So that you can:

  • Leverage disagreements to rebuild connection

  • Learn about yourself & your partner and respect each other’s needs and uniqueness

  • Restore trust and respect and feel close & connected

  • Feel safe to talk about what really matters

  • Communicate in a healthy, productive manner 

  • Listen and be heard without judgement

  • Stay calm, even when you or your partner is upset

  • Have more fun and joy in your relationship

REPAIR COMMUNICATION

Evolve therapists encourage people in all types of relationships (couples, family members, parents and children) from all backgrounds and preferences to repair communication patterns through awareness of the deeper emotions that trigger their behavior patterns. Evolve Counseling helps you identify and acknowledge the underlying emotions that impact the relationship and is extremely helpful for people who get stuck in a rut of repeatedly arguing about chores, responsibilities, money, jealousy, infidelity, sex, or parenting issues. 

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Evolve therapists work with the core belief that we can heal and restore love and hope in a relationship. We experience this outcome often and it is immensely rewarding to see our clients evolve and restore love and respect for one another and their relationship. We believe you can recover from anger and break old patterns. Trust can be rebuilt after betrayal and you can renew the intimacy that brought you together in the first place. Communication problems do not have to escalate to the point that they get out of control.

 Using Emotionally Focused Therapy   

Using EFT Evolve therapists help you get to the tender emotions underneath the anger or frustration of feeling ignored, unloved, or betrayed and leads to a safe expression of deeper needs and desires. You will learn how to respond to each other in a respectful and loving way when there are problems or disagreements.

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EFT helps you:

  • identify negative patterns in your relationship

  • uncover feelings that drive negativity

  • find mutual understanding of each other’s perceptions about these interactions

  • and clarify the feelings underneath all the anger, avoidance, and other negative behavior

 

The ultimate goal is to empower each of you, inspire hope, and restore love and respect in your relationship so that you can each ask for and receive what you need to thrive.

COUNSELING FOR COUPLES

We specialize in working with all types of relationships: married, living together, dating or engaged. We also have deep experience working with people representing a wide range of ethnicities, religions, cultures, nationalities and LGBTQ individuals and couples.  

What to expect:

Relationship Counseling will help you focus on what you really want in the relationship instead of getting caught in a cycle of blaming and negativity. Bad things can happen in even the strongest relationships from affairs and addictions to devastating loss (job, family member death, trust), or betrayal. Trust can be rebuilt. Your Evolve counselor will help you focus on the underlying issues, emotions, and causes, instead of getting overwhelmed by the details and trapped in a negative cycle. We all want relationships of meaning and deep connection, which is why relationships can be so intense. Relationships can cause us both the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow. We will help you express your emotions in a safe environment, so that you will feel deeply heard and restore deep connection. Often couples never learned how to communicate effectively, manage anger, resolve conflicts productively, or to listen empathically to one another. Most people don’t recognize the role they play when a relationship is facing these problems. One person is rarely the problem; it is the relationship system or the relationship dance that is the problem.



Questions to ask yourself:

If the majority of your answers are yes, you might benefit from counseling as a couple:

  • Are you having problems communicating with each other?
  • Are you feeling misunderstood or that you and your feelings don’t matter?
  • Do you feel that your partner no longer really “hears” you or cares?
  • Are you not as close as you used to be?
  • Are you so disconnected that all you are sharing is your day and what you plan to have for dinner?
  • Do you have the same fights over and over and feel stuck or argue endlessly?
  • Do you feel lonely because of poor communication and lack of connection?
  • Do you believe your emotional needs are not being met?
  • Is your relationship lacking or void of physical or emotional intimacy?
  • Are you or your loved one totally consumed about discussing the kids and their activities or a busy work schedule rather that one another?
  • Do you miss having close quality conversations? Or just the opposite, is your loved one suffocating you?
  • Do you no longer spend quality time together nor enjoy it when you do?
  • Do you feel unfulfilled in your marriage?



Does marriage counseling work?

Marital therapy gives couples the opportunity to hear their loved one in a brand new way. Once a person feels less defensive because they are being heard, they can then open themselves up to identify and understand their own contributions to the problems in the marriage. They discover things about themselves, and their partner that they never knew previously. Once couples start really hearing each other in session, then they can start applying this to their everyday lives. The couple starts noticing how things feel when they open up to each other and can start to ask for love and support more directly. The result is often deep connection and romance. Each marriage and relationship is different. Their is no one right way to do things, the key is to be able to negotiate it with your partner. A marriage counselor cannot tell you what is right or wrong for you. Only you and your partner can create it in the way that makes you feel close. Life can get rocky, emotional and turbulent, research indicates that people that are married and in long term relationships are healthier both physically and emotionally. Marriage counseling is well worth the feelings of connection and romance that can come back. You might just learn something about yourself and your loved one in the process.



How to enhance the couples counseling process:

To enhance your counseling experience it might be helpful for you to think about what you want from your relationship. You and your partner are two different people and your relationship is a third entity. What is good for one of you, may not be good for the relationship and vice versa. It is sometimes beneficial to think of this as a three legged stool. One leg represents each of you and one leg for the relationship. The stool needs all three legs to stand. As you enter counseling, think about what you can do to enhance the relationship leg.



 Counseling for individuals in relationships   

Like couples counseling, individual counseling for people in relationships is based on a respectful, collaborative, optimistic, and holistic approach using EFT Therapy. Engaging in relationship counseling as an individual is a powerful step in restoring love and respect for yourself and feeling supported.

What to expect:

Since reality and meaning are created by you, what you think and believe about your problem and yourself is very important. It is also significant what is happening for you in the present moment, in the therapy room, and in the therapeutic relationship you have with your Evolve counselor. Your problems will be understood by looking at some of your beliefs about yourself, the world, and how you might be unknowingly perpetuating the problem. People are best understood based on how they relate to others. This is rooted in the patterns learned in their most significant relationship experiences – usually their relationship with their parents. Therefore, your family attachment history is very important in your therapy and healing. Even after all that’s happened, you can you heal the hurt and restore your love for yourself and others. The good news is that these skills can be taught, it’s never too late to save a marriage or a relationship. Even if your partner won’t participate in the therapy with you, there are immense benefits of therapy for yourself.



Questions to ask yourself:

If the majority of your answers are yes, you might benefit from counseling as a couple:

  • Are you worried about your relationship and feel alone in the desire to improve it?
  • Do you feel alone or isolated in your relationship?
  • Do you lack support from your partner and others?
  • Have you or your partner been experiencing life challenges that have impacted the relationship?
  • Do you have problems communicating with your partner? Have you lost the connection?
  • Are you angry all the time? Or is there a stony silence in your home?
  • Is your relationship struggling because of the betrayal of an affair?
  • Are you or someone you love addicted to porn?
Help is here for you and your relationship.