Who doesn't like a quiz? We've put together some fun questions to test how well you actually know your significant other.
Take this relationship quiz to find out how well you know your spouse or partner.
What is their mother's maiden name?
How many siblings does your significant other’s parents have? Can you name them?
Are they close to their parents?
How many nieces and nephews does your partner have? Can you name them?
Does your significant other prefer life in a small town or big city?
What was their favorite dish as a kid?
Is your partner more like their dad or mom?
Are they close to their extended family? Do they meet at family gatherings?
What is their fondest childhood memory?
What was your partner's worst mistake when they were a child and what was their punishment?
Did they have a favorite subject in school? What was their least favorite subject? Why?
Was there ever a time when they repeated a grade in school?
Did they participate in any particular sports?
Who is their oldest friend? Who were their best friends through the years?
What's their favorite ice cream flavor?
Do they have a favorite book?
Growing up, did they have any pets?
As a child, what show was their favorite?
How do they feel about religion? Do they think there is an afterlife?
Ok. Now that we've broken the ice, let's go over some questions intended to explore your relationship on a much deeper level:
What is your partner's conflict style?
What are your expectations for the relationship?
Do you make each other better people?
Why did your last relationship end?
Does your partner believe in monogamous relationships?
Are you satisfied with your sex life?
Have either party ever cheated on a past partner?
What's your partner's best traits?
What are their worst traits?
Do you feel like you can be completely honest, no matter your opinion?
If answered with brutal honesty, these questions may have made you slightly uncomfortable—that's not necessarily a bad thing.
One of the most important things you can do in a relationship is to be open and transparent with your significant other.
Can couples counseling save a relationship?
If your answers to the quiz were less than what you were hoping for, that's not a problem. This isn't a race or game you need to compete for a high-score on.
You may feel like you don't have anyone to turn to when you encounter relationship problems. Perhaps you don't want to share your problems with others, or even feel you can't trust them entirely.
Feeling carefree and happy in a relationship is crucial to your overall well-being.It does not matter why, do not be afraid to ask for support. We all need human contact, affection, and affection to thrive.
Why do most couples break up?
In many cases, many couples break up due to a diminished connection that results communication breakdown.
Problems in a relationship can create such pain and stress that you might wonder if it is right for you and your partner. In the later stages of a relationship, problems that weren't present in the beginning may begin to surface. Maybe you're constantly in conflict with your partner.
Your partner may have had a relationship with someone else and you are hurting deeply, but you don't seem able to talk about it. Your marital relationship may be strained or even in conflict due to disagreements about your children or in-laws, your finances, or perhaps one of you desires an open marriage and the other one does not.
It is normal for a relationship to suffer from communication breakdowns from time to time.
When you are unhappy in a relationship, it affects every area of your life: You may fail at work, experience emotional breakdowns, be stressed, upset, irritated, and be ready to break up. This can lead to a number of mental health issues.
Your relationship problems only get worse if you lead an over scheduled life. The two of you can end up feeling more like business associates or enemies at worst, rather than lovers.
For many couples considering relationship counseling are left asking themselves, “wasn't life supposed to be about enjoying each other?” Or, "why is this relationship so difficult?"
When should you see a couples counselor?
Romantic relationships require work; they require trust and work. Most experts suggest attending couples therapy proactively, or at the first sign that something is off.
Some other signs that it might be time to seek counseling are:
Your partner isn't listening.
You're forever stuck on the same issue.
Everything your partner does annoys you.
One of you doesn't like how the other uses social media.
Your relationship stunts your individual and collective growth.
You can't stop fighting.
You never fight.
You're not having sex.
You think you might need it.
You're thinking about getting married.
You are growing apart.
If you can answer "yes" to one of several of these items, it might be a wise idea to consider couples counseling.
How do I tell my partner I want to go to couples therapy?
Many couples in conflict are hesitant to begin relationship therapy or marriage counseling because they're not sure how it can help them. You may feel as if traditional methods of therapy won't work for you, or maybe you don't understand the options. On the other hand, you might be sure that you want help, but you don't know what to expect.
Many people believe that you should only seek relationship counseling when separation or divorce are looming. Unfortunately, when serious discussions like divorce are happening, it's often too little, too late. Relationship therapy should begin as soon as the problems get in the way of your daily life.
In counseling, you'll learn about skills like communication and problem-solving; then your therapist will help you apply them to your relationship. This happens through a conversation with your partner that help you get at the deeper feelings underneath the reactivity or avoidance in your relationship. Before long, you'll be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor in a happy, stable relationship.
How To Take The First Steps Toward Couples Counseling
Whether you're interested in online couples therapy or in-person counseling, one of the first steps (and perhaps a difficult step) to make is talking to your partner about your desire to start couples/marriage therapy.
When you start relationship counseling, it's important to understand that success will require the participation of both partners. While it may seem obvious that those interested in professional couples counseling want help to change, this may not always be the case.
According to an article titled, "The 5 Things You Learn In Relationship Counseling," couples should actively seek out help when appropriate:
With couples, there may be other factors that prompt them to consider counseling, and these dynamics are not always optimal for success. For instance, some people only want to show that they've given serious effort to save their relationship. Others may genuinely care about their partner, but they've already decided to leave the relationship, so they choose to attend counseling to ensure their partner connects to a supportive therapist before their imminent departure.
Read the full article here: https://is.gd/EM0fxl
Both parties are sincerely open to improving the relationship in many couples by receiving support, assistance, and education, and going through counseling. Couples can benefit from open-mindedness as well as a willingness to listen to the other partner.
Is it worth going to couples counseling?
One of the first questions you should ask when considering if couples counseling is worth it, is “are both of you willing to go to a counselor and talk?” If one person in a relationship is willing to talk and the other isn’t, counseling rarely helps.
In addition to your willingness, timing is an essential component to the success of your sessions. The sooner you go to counseling, the better. Resentment or lingering anger over past transgressions can erode your trust and intimacy the longer they fester. According to relationship expert John Gottman, Ph. D., “the average couple waits a whopping six years before seeking help with an unhappy relationship.”
If you're at the beginning stages of friction, you may have a better shot at salvaging your relationship. However, this doesn't mean that you're automatically doomed if you've been unhappy for seven years.
The more friction or avoidance in your relationship simply means you have more work to do.
What is the average time for a couple to recognize marital problems and seek counseling?
If possible, it's a good idea to seek out couples therapy before your relationship is in crisis.
Many couples are hesitant to begin relationship counseling because they're not sure how it can help them. You may feel as if traditional methods of therapy won't work for you, or maybe you don't understand the options. On the other hand, you might be sure that you want help, but you don't know what to expect.
What To Expect in Couples Therapy
Couples therapy will typically start with basic interview questions. Such as, "Where does it hurt to be in your relationship?" Then the therapist might do some individual sessions to get at the background of the relationship as well as some exploration into each partner's family-of-origin, values, and background. This gives the therapist context for possible contributing reasons for the way each party reacts to certain situations. Additionally, the therapist might use the initial sessions for crisis intervention, if necessary such as, if there has been an affair.
The couples therapist will then assist the couple in pinpointing the issue(s) that will be the focus of treatment. It’s important to understand this is a process and establishing treatment goals and planning a structure for treatment.
During treatment, the therapist will help the couple gain deeper insights. The therapist will help you understand the dynamics of your relationship.. The therapist will help both partners understand each of their roles in the dysfunctional interactions.
Although gaining insight is important, another crucial aspect of couples therapy involves actually changing behaviors and ways of interacting with each other. This is done through enactments during the sessions.
Most couples can come away from couples therapy having gained insight into relational patterns, increased emotional expression and developed the skills necessary to communicate and problem-solve with their partners more effectively.
Can couples therapy make things worse?
The simple answer: rarely.
Couples counseling uncovers many issues that may simply be routinely swept under the rug.
The purpose of couples counseling is to open a dialogue, so that a couple can better understand their relational specific unique dynamics.
It should be noted that, sometimes, counseling may uncover differences that may result in a couple realizing they're not compatible with each other.
In the event that a couple cannot resolve their differences, couples counseling may be able to salvage a friendship between partners rather than leaving the relationship with burned bridges.
If you took the relationship quiz at the start of this blog and found that couples counseling might be right for you, don't put it off. Neglecting your relationship can often lead to a widening divide between you and your partner. Reach out to us today.