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  • Writer's pictureEvolve Therapy

How To Reignite A Marriage

In the United States, the current divorce rate is about 3 in 1,000 people. Stress, finances and boredom are some of the biggest indicators that passion has died. One day, you wake up and you find that you feel distant from your partner for no specific reason.

It's important to realize that all couples have their ups and downs and every married couple finds that their sex lives change over time. There are many ways you can bring that spark back into a relationship to rekindle intimacy and reignite a sexless marriage.

Continue reading to discover how to reignite a marriage and make your spouse your number one priority again.

What Can You Do About A Sexless Marriage?

When a couple has sex less than ten times in one year, it is considered a sexless marriage. If both partners agree that they are happy with a less active sex life, then it may not be a problem.

A relationship over time may experience a lack of passion and spontaneous desire. But if one partner wants a sexual relationship and the other doesn't, this can prevent marital satisfaction and result in a less than healthy marriage.

Another reason for a lack of sex in marriage could result from medical conditions such as diabetes, obesity, or from taking certain medications. Age-related factors can decrease energy and cause hormonal changes leading to erectile dysfunction for men and vaginal dryness for women.

If intercourse is not possible, other types of sexual activities could be engaged in to satisfy the needs of each partner.

A healthy relationship means that both partners have to communicate their needs to each other in order to rekindle their passion to keep the marriage alive. It may be necessary to seek a sex therapist or relationship expert to help invigorate a passionless marriage.

How Can You Rekindle Passion In Your Relationship?

In order to reignite desire and passion in a relationship, both partners need to agree to work together. Each partner needs to feel love and trust from the other in order to remove inhibitions and to be able to communicate about their needs.

Once you both agree that the relationship needs some work, it's time to start experimenting and get to work. Use these tips to rekindle the flames of sexual desire and experience a romantic relationship even more intense than when you first met.

Boost Your Emotional Intimacy

Spending time together is absolutely necessary for restoring emotional intimacy and having a successful relationship, but how you spend your time together is equally as important.

You've no doubt heard that married couples need to carve out quality time for each other and having date nights on a regular basis can keep boredom from creeping in. However, if you have date night but still are not focusing on each other during the time you spend together, it's not going to help you to become close again.

Don’t talk about your problems or things that stress you out. Instead, pay attention to your partner and focus on them during the time you have together.

Remember that while things change, they do not have to lose their excitement or fun. Intimacy in marriage can take many forms, including talking and cuddling. Share stories or look through old photographs together. Talk about your hopes, dreams, opinions, and triumphs. It is important to remember that intimacy goes far beyond sex.

Be More Sensual With Your Partner

It's not just about sex. It can be as simple as saying "thank you" in a flirtatious or seductive way, or wearing something that makes you feel sensual and sexy. A gentle touch of your partner’s cheek or an affectionate smile may do wonders for someone who wants some tenderness, even if they don't ask for it outright.

Start holding hands more. Begin to add other elements of physical touch like hugging, kissing, and caressing into your relationship. Your body's release of the "feel good" hormone, oxytocin can be stimulated by all types of physical activities. Agree before you start that there will be no sex to eliminate any pressures or fears.

Become Friends Again

A healthy friendship is based on trust, truth, respect for each other, and being able to talk about anything. Most romantic relationships start out this way.

After you settle down into married life, your friendship may start to fade if not nurtured and maintained carefully. Exhaustion from juggling work responsibilities, taking care of children at home, spending too much time on social media or just forgetting to treat each other special can create an emotional distance between couples who used to be close friends.

Laughing with someone is one of the best ways to keep a relationship strong. Reminiscing about funny memories, watching a funny movie or television show, or going to an amusement park will have you sharing a laugh in no time.

Show Your Appreciation

You’re married, not in a friendly competition. Keeping score of who did what will only eat away at the trust that has been built up over the years. Instead, keep track of all the good things they do in one day and then thank them, letting them know how much you appreciate it.

You can show appreciation for your spouse through words, actions or gifts. For example, compliment them on their appearance or just be thoughtful with a card that tells them how much you appreciate the work they do around the house. It doesn’t have to be extreme. A simple thank you goes a long way.

Be Nice

Long-term couples find that they start taking their partners for granted. They forget to treat them with the same respect they would treat a friend or a co-worker. Think about how your words or actions will make your partner feel. Stop and think before you speak. Treat your partner with the same kindness as your would a friend or even a stranger.

Your actions outside of the bedroom have consequences in the bedroom. Being disrespectful to your partner causes pain and mistrust which can cause your partner to become emotionally cold and distant.

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Trust ensures you can make mistakes without fear, because your partner will still accept you for who you are, flaws and all.

Start Focusing On The Things You Love About Your Partner

It's quite common for people to start noticing flaws in their partner after they've been living together for a while. However, it's likely your spouse had these same nerve-wracking habits when you first met and you simply hadn't been able to see them through the rose-colored glasses you were at the beginning of the relationship.

You should focus on the things you admire or like about your partner instead. Be sure that you stop holding on to grudges about something he or she may have said or done in the past. Holding a grudge only causes resentment to build up and takes away any chances of happiness in the present.

Remember the things about your spouse that made you fall in love in the first place. When you start looking for the good in your partner, that's what you'll start focusing on.

Revive A Stale Marriage By Being More Romantic

After being in a long-term relationship of any kind, you may think the romance is long gone but it doesn't have to be this way. You may think you need to offer poems of love or give extravagant gifts but there are many little things you can do to put some romance back in your marriage.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Send an unexpected text or phone call to your partner just to say, "I love you".

  • Touch your spouse while walking past him or her.

  • Put a note somewhere your partner will find during the day that says, "I love you".

  • Surprise your partner by picking up flowers or dinner on the way home. If you are bringing home a surprise dinner, be sure to call in case he or she has already started preparing dinner.

  • If your partner has to stay late at work, have the bed turned down and a hot bath ready with floating flower petals and candles.

  • Take a shower together.

  • Take your partner somewhere they've always wanted to go, such as a concert, a restaurant, an amusement park or a movie. Even if you don't like it, do it anyway. Let your partner enjoy it, and do it simply because you love them.

  • If you have kids, let your partner sleep in on morning. Get up with the kids, make them breakfast and, you could even take them somewhere fun while your partner enjoys a few hours alone.

Can Sexual Intimacy Be Restored After Infidelity?

The first reaction for most couples is that infidelity will destroy the relationship. However, many relationships survive and even thrive after cheating has occurred.

Infidelity is often the catalyst for significant changes in your marriage. It's a difficult process to go through but that doesn't mean the journey is impossible. In fact, there are many benefits and lessons learned along the way.

Restoring sexual intimacy with your partner after infidelity can be a very difficult and sometimes, heartbreaking process. If you're the one who has been unfaithful, it may take time to get over feelings of guilt or shame. For the partner who was cheated on, patience as well as gentleness will help heal the wounds of betrayal.

Is It Ever Too Late To Reignite A Marriage?

Marriage is a commitment. It's not always easy and couples often need to work hard in order to maintain a happy marriage.

The best marriages are made up of two people who love and support each other unconditionally. But even the strongest relationships can be tested from time to time by everyday stresses, financial woes or parenting issues. When challenges arise in a marriage, it's important for both spouses to work hard at solving them together - for better or worse until death do they part.

Many couples who have been married a long time may need a few ideas to fan the flames of passion to get that fire burning again. If you're experiencing a slow down in your sex life, use a few of these tips to get started because it's never too late to reignite a marriage and get back to good.


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